Some time ago, while spring-cleaning a closet in my studio, I found a package containing a new, un-opened set of lovely Windsor & Newton watercolor paint, a very expensive pair of Sable hair brushes, a set of Dr. Martin's inks, a set of Rotring pens and a nice thick block of Arches Hot Pressed paper.

What a great surprise! Just to think that some of the materials I've been coveting in the latest Jerry's Artarama catalogue were actually hidden under my very nose in my studio.

Then I found a note tucked-in with the supplies and my blood went cold.

The note was to my father. The art materials I found were actually a gift for my dad who could not get good art supplies in South Africa.

My father was a wonderful artist and never asked for much, but I knew he wanted this package so badly. My mom told me that he would often say, "I wonder if Trev's package is going to come in the mail today." He mentioned a number of times, on the phone to me, how forward he was looking to getting the paints because he had a specific project in mind that he wanted to create.

For some reason I never got round to mailing the the supplies to him. They sat hidden in my studio closet for years.

Then my father died.

He never got the package he waited so patiently for.

Dad, I am so sorry.


"Now is the time to give me roses, not to keep them for my grave to
come. Give them to me while my heart beats, give them today while my
heart yearns for jubilee. Now is the time..."

Mzwakhe Mbuli